i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
I can't breathe out the right side of my face
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
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