dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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