Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
Randomize
