he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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