walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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