i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
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