This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
