I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
it's like heaven, but drunker
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
She has the best kind of daddy issues
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
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