I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize
