You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Randomize
