Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
