Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
Randomize
