I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Randomize