70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
Edward fifth and chaser hands
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Randomize
