I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
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