The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
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