there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
