I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
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