Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
my god I love twenty year old dicks
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
