"it" just moved
The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize
