So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
Randomize
