Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
Randomize
