I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
