and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
