what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Randomize
