ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
Randomize
