Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
