That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
I think my moral compass just broke
Randomize
