Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
he just fucked me for my cheese.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
