Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
Randomize
