every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Randomize
