Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
People in love make me want to vomit
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
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