you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
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