What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
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