There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
