he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize
