I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
Man, jail baloney is awful.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
Randomize
