If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Randomize
