if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
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