Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
This is the high leading the old right now
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
