Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
I have aggressive nipples.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
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