wrigley field is MILF paradise
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
Randomize
