Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
Randomize
