Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
not ubering you a puppy
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
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