You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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