question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Randomize
