He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
