why didn't you poke me back
At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
i may or may not be watching the land before time
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
Come on in and take your pants off
Randomize