We won't sleep together?
Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Randomize
