if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize
