i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
Edward fifth and chaser hands
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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