i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
