He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
Randomize
