Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Randomize
