he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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