Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
